Slow Cooker Meals AKA premeditated meals

DISCLAIMER:
In this list of slow cooker meals, there is generally a lack of ingredient amounts.  I did NOT come up with these meals, remember.  These are foods that every day, bad ass moms, put together for their children & family.

When it comes down to it
-I don’t put more than 1 cut up  onion in a crockpot because
1. chopping onions sucks fucking dick
2. who the fuck wants that much onion
– ALWAYS MIX YOUR LIQUIDS UP BEFORE YOU THROW IN THE CROCKPOT
– If it says to cook roast on LOW, just assume it’ll be for at least 8 hours, unless I’ve stated otherwise.  IDK man it’s gonna depend on how much the roast weighs.  I just throw that fucker in early in the morning & hope for the best by the time my husband gets home.  If shits falling apart I assume that’s when it’s finished.
-If I’m cooking chicken, I usually just throw it in for 4-6 hours on low. Like, when that shit’s soft & pulls apart, it’s probably done.  Just keep an eye cause chicken can overcook really fuckin easily.  No one wants dry ass, crusty ass, brown ass chicken…
-This list of meals is going to be a great test on your common sense in the kitchen

I AM NOT LIABLE FOR ANY FUCKED OFF OR BURNED FOOD.

 

  • Crockpot Ribs
    • Ribs
    • Cut up onions
    • Cut up bell pepper
    • Throw in bbq sauce
    • Start on low in morning, done by dinner

 

  • Vegetable beef soup in crockpot
    • Brown hamburger meat, drain, & put in slow cooker
    • Use 2 small bags of frozen mixed veggies from Walmart & throw them in
    • Put 2 cans of chicken broth
    • Use one beef bullion cube
    • Turn slow-cooker on low

 

  • Roast
    • Throw a roast and veggies in crockpot
    • Turn on & walk away

 

  • Chuck roast
    • Chuck roast
    • 1 Can mushroom soup
    • 1 Packet onion soup mix
    • Cut up Mushrooms
    • Serve with egg noodles or rice

 

  • Pork shoulder
    • Throw pork shoulder in slow-cooker
    • Use ½  to ¾ cup of apple cider vinegar
    • Cook 10-12 hours on low
    • When finished, pull out bones
    • Put meat through hand mixer to pull apart
    • Drizzle BBQ sauce on meat
    • Eat with baked beans, brussel sprouts, or mac and cheese on side

 

  • Pork Butt
    • 1 Pork butt (shoulder)
    • Throw in with couple cups of bbq sauce or whatever good seasonings you want at the moment
    • A spoonful of minced garlic
    • Diced onion
    • Cook on low all day (Cook on low so it easily falls apart)
    • When cooked, shred it & serve on hamburger buns.
    • You can also cook with a can of dr pepper or coke, then add bbq sauce when shredding it

 

  • Mississippi Roast
    • Beef roast
    • 1 Ranch packet (mixed with required liquid amount)
    • 1 Brown gravy packet (mixed with required liquid amount)
    • 1 packet dry au jus mix (mixed with required liquid amount)
    • 1 onion
    • Stick of butter on top
    • Pepperoncini’s
    • Cook on low

 

  • Slow Cooker Steak
    • Steak
    • Chopped potatoes
    • 1 Pound of cream cheese
    • Onion soup mix packet
    • Leave on low for 8 hours or high for 4
        • “& it’s perfectly good gravy over potatoes & steak”

 

  • Pork Chops
    • Pork Chops
    • Cover with a mixture of 2 cans of cream of whatever soup
    • 1 Packet of onion soup mix
    • Add a little beef broth to thin it out if you’re cooking longer than 6 hours
    • If you cook on LOW, I’d check that shit around 3 or 4 hours

 

  • Slow Cooker Kielbasa
    • Kielbasa
    • Small cabbage
    • Few onions
    • Splash of olive oil
    • Cook in slow cooker on low all day
    • Finish it by putting a splash of red wine vinegar on it
    • Add a few red chili flakes

 

  • Meatball Stroganoff
    • Family pack of frozen meatballs
    • 2-3 jars of brown gravy
    • 2 packets McCormick swedish meatballs mix
    • Onion
    • Mushrooms
    • Throw in a slow cooker
    • Cook on low all day
    • Boil egg noodles
    • When ready add 1 carton of sour cream to meatballs, stir that shit up, serve over finished egg noodles
        • “Easy fuckin peasy and tastes good”

 

 

  • BBQ Chicken
    • Throw chicken breasts in crockpot
    • Dump in BBQ sauce
    • Pour in a quarter can of coca cola
    • Cook on low for 6 hours
    • Heat up veggies for a side & done

 

  • Spicy chicken
    • Chicken breasts
    • Texas Pete’s hot sauce
    • A little butter
    • Cook in slow cooker
    • Shred it serve on buns with chips or whatever

 

  • Crack Chicken Sandwiches
    • Chicken breast
    • Cream cheese
    • Ranch seasoning packet
    • Cook on low
    • Shred & eat on buns

 

  • Pesto Chicken Crockpot
    • Chicken thighs/tenders/breasts
    • 1 cup pesto
    • 2 cups chicken broth
    • 1 Ranch packet
    • Throw in crockpot
    • Steam veggies & rice for sides

 

  • Slow Cooker Chicken and Dumplings
    • Chicken
    • Cream of chicken
    • Rip up Pillsbury biscuit dough
    • Leave it on LOW to cook

 

  • Italian Dressing Chicken
    • 4 frozen chicken breasts
    • 1 bottle of italian dressing
    • Cook on low for 4-6 hours

 

  • Chicken tacos
    • Chicken breasts
    • 1 Can of roasted diced tomatoes
    • 1 Packet of taco seasoning
    • Cook on Low for 5 hours
    • Remove most liquid
    • Grab handheld mixer to shred chicken
      • Or use hands

1 Comment

  1. Dusteena C Wood

    October 9, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    I love this!

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